My life in Midnight Hollow – menu

 

 

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1.8. Who is the player?

When I woke up the next morning, I was still very tired. I didn’t sleep good during the night because I had nightmares. I guessed it was because I was stressed when I fell asleep.

I put on my clothes and went downstairs to the dining room. Sofia and Elsa sat there already and ate breakfast. Elsa looked so tired as well. We didn’t even have strength to talk, so we just ate our breakfast quietly and went to school.

This time my day at school wasn’t so easy. I felt so sleepy and I almost fell asleep a few times while reading something in my Maths book. Elsa told me that it’s a normal feeling after someone passed out, but we should feel better in the afternoon. And she was right!!! I already felt better after our lunch break. Just still couldn’t know what actually happened to me. I never felt like that before. Never… In my whole life!!! My thoughts scared me… What if I really began to become a game character? I didn’t want it… I felt that tears came to my eyes… I was so scared… But I didn’t want to show anyone how confused I felt at the moment, so I shook my head and tried to think about something else. I  very much tried to concentrate on my Maths book… But it wasn’t easy. Finally I managed to forget about it for a while.

When our school day was over we went back home. Sofia said that she had so much homework to do that day, so she immediately went to her room. Elsa and I sat in the living room and watched TV for a while. On the coffee table laid a pile of papers. On the top of it I noticed bills which came that day and I couldn’t believe how expensive it was. I guessed that the Bjergsen family earned pretty much of money because the bills showed 8390 Simoleans to be paid. I never even realized before how much money the Bjergsen’s could have. But I didn’t have much time to think about it because a gardener arrived to take care of flowers and also Max came to visit Elsa.

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I went to my room and decided that I would work with my application as much as possible that afternoon. I had to be able to get back home… Sure, it was a nice place, but I couldn’t stay there longer… Just couldn’t… I missed my family so much and I didn’t want to become a game character. That scared me again very much…

I took out my phone and opened an application. I was supposed to draw some pictures again, so I began to do it.

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I drew for a long time, but suddenly I felt hungry, so I went downstairs. I met Max in the dining room. We talked for a moment and then Max went home. Aunt Clara was busy in the kitchen while preparing a dinner, Sofia still did her homework in her room and Elsa felt so exhausted, so she decided to take a little nap.

Soon dinner was ready and we all ate together. Elsa told about our Maths lesson which we had today at school, Sofia told about her new friend Morgan and uncle Bjorn told about his new boss at work. I was still too much confused with my own thoughts to pay much attention about conversation. Luckily nobody seemed to notice it and I was happy about that. Aunt Clara, uncle Bjorn, Sofia and Elsa, they all have been to me like my own family, they helped me and took care of me when I needed it so badly and I really didn’t want to worry them.

After dinner I went back to my room, but before I even managed to sit down, I heard that someone knocked to my door. I opened the door and Elsa came to my room.

– Can I disturb you for a moment? – She asked.

– Yes, of course. What’s up?

– Max came today because he wanted to talk with me. – Elsa answered. – He wanted to talk about you.

– About me? – I asked surprised. – Why about me? Did I do something wrong?

– No, of course not. – She smiled to me. – He just wanted to ask me to talk with you about him.

I looked at her and smiled. I wondered if Max was interested in me. No… it couldn’t be… Let’s be honest, I was much older than him, but still it was cute that he came here and talked first with Elsa. But I didn’t say anything.

– You know, he said that he is a little shy. – Elsa continued. – And he really likes you. He told me that he would like to go on a date with you.

On a date?… With me?… Seriously?…

– What do you think?

– Well… I don’t know… I didn’t expect it… What do you think I should do? Of course, Max is ok, but I’m much older than him in reality.

– I like Max, he is good company and a good member of our club. – Elsa answered. – There is always much of fun with him. But I heard that he can be also very mean to other people. You know, everything depends of his mood. I know it because Luna, Sofia’s friend, is Max’ older sister. So I would be careful. Although he wasn’t ever mean during our club meetings.

– I will think about it and I guess I will talk with Max tomorrow at school.

– Ok, but I think I’ll go already to bed. I’m so sleepy. Good night Sara!

– Good night Elsa! Sleep well!

– You too! Bye!

Elsa went to her room. I put quickly on my night clothes and decided to still draw more that evening. I desperately wanted to collect those points and go home!!! I guessed I would miss The Bjergsen’s, but it wasn’t my world.

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I drew for many hours till my eyes began to close themselves. I checked my phone because I hoped that now I could have enough points to get aspiration reward and go home. I got an information that I don’t have enough points for any reward yet…

I felt so disappointed, sad and stressed… I really wanted to go home!!!… I missed my family, my friends and my world… Tears began to come to my eyes again, but this time I didn’t try to stop them… Then I remembered that scary thought which came to me last evening… What if I would become a game character?… I didn’t want it… That was so scary… And then I realized something even more scary… If I was in the game… what if someone controlled it?… What if someone observed me all of this time and decided for me?… I panicked… Totally didn’t know what I should do… That was so scary and creepy… I cried… I cried strongly and long… Big tears fell down on the floor…

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I didn’t know how long I cried, but suddenly I fell asleep from exhaustion.

The next morning I went to the dining room as first. Soon after came aunt Clara, smiled to me and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I sat on a chair and looked out the window. A few minutes later came also Sofia, Elsa and uncle Bjorn. When breakfast was ready everyone sat in the dining room, I couldn’t keep my thoughts for myself anymore. It scared me too much… So I told them what was in my mind… I began to cry again… couldn’t stop it… When I finished everyone was quiet. Aunt Clara stood next to me and hugged me. Uncle Bjorn looked at me, smiled and said:

– So, that’s how he used all what he saw here! He used it for the game!

I didn’t understand at all what he was talking about…

 

1.7. Just some fun with family and friends.

Aunt Clara woke me up much later than usual on Monday and said that breakfast is ready and I should get ready to school. I was afraid to ask her anything, so when she left, I very quickly went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, put on my clothes and went to the dining room to eat breakfast. I actually felt very stressed because I didn’t know what to expect. Last night aunt Clara was very angry after Sofia’s party. I felt my heart pulsing very fast. I took my plate and sat by the table. Sofia and Elsa were already there. Aunt Clara said:

– Sofia, do you know that you disappointed me very much yesterday? You were supposed to take care of Elsa and Sara and you threw a party here. And it was a very long party…

Aunt Clara paused for a moment. We all sat quietly. I looked for a second at Aunt’s Clara face and she seemed to be not as angry as she was yesterday. She actually was rather calm now. She continued:

– And you, girls, why you didn’t stay home, but instead you went to the beach too? I guess you didn’t want to refuse your older sister and that’s why I feel so disappointed Sofia. I really didn’t expect something like that from you. If you wanted to trow a party, why you didn’t ask me or dad? We agreed once that we won’t have secrets in our family and you tried to hide it from us…

– I’m very sorry mommy, I know that I should ask you for permission, but Luna also threw a party like that and our other friends thought that it was so cool and they wanted that we would keep that kind of tradition since then. I’m so sorry mommy, I promise I’ll never do something like that again.

Now I understood Sofia very well. Poor Sofia, she just didn’t want that her friends will laugh.

– That’s ok honey, everyone makes mistakes, but I hope you learned your lesson.

– I would like to apologize too, I’m very sorry. – I said to aunt Clara.

– Me too, mommy. – Elsa said too.

–  That’s fine already girls, just I wouldn’t like any secrets in our family anymore. We should always talk about our problems and needs, so together, as a family, we could solve every problem.

Aunt Clara smiled to us, hugged Sofia and told us that we should go to school for the rest of our lessons for that day. In total we had only half of day at school, so it went very fast. Lucas and Max were surprised that we came so late to school, so we told them about our adventure yesterday. Elsa got an idea that it would be great to spend some time together and have fun, so Lucas and Max agreed to visit us.

When we came back from school, aunt Clara practiced her mixologist skill outside.

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We didn’t want to disturb her, so we decided to play with Max and Lucas at the playground. Sofia was still exhausted after last night, so she went to her room to take a nap.

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We had so much fun together. Soon aunt Clara went to work and uncle Bjorn came to check what we were doing.

– Are you having fun? Maybe I could join you for a moment?

– Yes daddy, that’s a great idea! – Elsa shouted with excitement.

And uncle Bjorn began to play with her and Max.

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That was something new for me. Uncle Bjorn was a very serious man, at least as long as I lived with the Bjergsen’s, I have never seen him to do anything stupid or funny. I always thought that his work suited him very well because he was a calm, serious secret agent. But that day, I was shocked because I saw this:

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But it was a very nice change. It was a great day then. We had so nice time playing together with uncle Bjorn.

About two hours later he told us that he will go upstairs to exercise for a while in our gym. We still stayed outside and ran around.

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Also Sofia woke up and decided to make a garden salad for dinner for all of us.

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When Sofia was preparing the salad, uncle Bjorn came back to us.

– It’s a very nice weather today and it’s not so late yet, so let’s go to the beach. I can show you how to fish and maybe we would catch some nice species. What do you think kids?

– I would be very happy Mr Bjergsen, I always wanted to learn how to catch a fish. – Lucas said.

– Yes daddy, let’s do this. – Elsa agreed quickly.

Max didn’t say anything and I smiled to uncle Bjorn. It was very nice to see him like that. Usually he was very stressed after his work and I guessed that it was understandable because his job was very dangerous, but that day he was so different. He was happy and relaxed and he spent with us so much time. Anyway I never tried to do fishing, so I also wanted to do it. I was living in this world for about a month with the Bjergsen’s and I already tried so many new things which I never did before in my entire life, so one more would be also fun.

When we arrived to the beach, uncle Bjorn first explained to us what to do in theory. It didn’t seem to be difficult, but I guessed that when I would try it later by my own, it could be very difficult. He showed us also, step by step, what to do.

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We tried it too and uncle Bjorn helped us with everything.

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The sky began to get dark, so we decided to go home. We caught two perch fishes. It was a good result for a first time. Sofia finished already preparing dinner, so we all sat in the living room and ate dinner. Uncle Bjorn turned on TV and we watched a movie: “Lost Dog’s Journey Home”. It was a very moving and nice movie about a dog who got lost and looked for his home for many months. In some parts the movie was very sad, but luckily the ending was happy and the dog finally found his home.

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Soon after the movie, Lucas and Max went home and we had to do our homework for the next day. I felt exhausted already. Totally without strength. Elsa looked very tired too, but we sat by the table in the living room and began to do our homework.

Suddenly, I felt so weak, couldn’t get up or even sit anymore and I just passed out.

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Nothing like that ever happened to me before and it looked so stupid. I still feel embarrassed when I remind that situation. I could say that Elsa was pretty tired too then.

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I couldn’t move at all… Uncle Bjorn carried me and Elsa to our beds.

How something like that could possibly happen to me?… Did I begin to become a game character?!!!… That was actually very scary. I was too exhausted to think about it, but still I felt depressed… and scared…

 

1.6. Sofia’s party.

The next morning I woke up late. It was Sunday and we had a free day. I put on my clothes and went to the bathroom quickly. Aunt Clara prepared breakfast and we all went to eat.

After breakfast Sofia went to practice playing guitar in her room.

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Elsa played a computer game and I went upstairs to my room and tried to collect more aspiration points.

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I took out my phone and opened an application in it to check what I should do next. I read: play with 3 toys… Really?… I seriously needed to play with toys? It was a little weird, but I really wanted to go back home soon, so I decided to do it. But it gave me some trouble because I didn’t play with toys for many years already. Of course I looked like a little girl, but in real I was a teenager. I didn’t remember anymore how to begin playing by myself. Sometimes I played with toys with children I took care of during when I was babysitting them. I took a small horse toy sculpture and began to play with it. Actually it wasn’t as difficult as I expected. It was fun! Maybe when I was now younger, somehow I got interested in toys again? Who knows? Everything was different here.

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Ok, I played with one toy already and after that I wondered what I should do next. I thought about playing with Elsa, so I went downstairs and asked her if she would like to play with me. Elsa said:

– Sure! It’s going to be fun, I really wanted to play with you, but didn’t know if you wanted it too. I got an awesome doll house last Christmas from my grandmother. Let’s play with it.

Elsa looked very excited, it seemed that I made her happy. I was happy too. Elsa was always very nice to me and it was great to see her happy. We went to her room and played with her dolls. We had so much fun and I think that, back then, we played a long time together, maybe even a few hours.

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– Let’s go to play outside! – Elsa suggested. – It’s so nice weather today.

We went outside to the garden and played for a while in the playground. Aunt Clara went to work. It was Sunday, and the restaurant where she worked was open that day 2 hours longer than other days, so we expected her home very late.

Elsa and I decided to swim for a while too and we just had so much fun when uncle Bjorn came to us and said:

– Are you having fun girls?

– Yes, it’s great! – Elsa answered and I smiled to him, so he could know that it was my opinion as well.

– I just got a phone call from my friend and I got an invitation to his club gathering today. It’s the “Partihaus” and I thought that maybe I could go there for a while. Will you girls be ok here on your own? I might come late, but of course I will have my phone with me, so if there will be any problem, just call me and I’ll be back. Sofia will be home too.

– We are going to be fine here. – I answered. – Uncle Bjorn, you can go for a club gathering and have a nice time there. I will check on Elsa and I’m sure Sofia will help me too if I have any problems.

– Yeah daddy, you had a difficult week at work, so you should go and relax! – Elsa said and smiled to her father. – We will be perfectly fine.

– Ok then, I will go to speak for a moment with Sofia and then I’ll go. So today, Sofia will be in charge here.

Uncle Bjorn smiled to us, said “Bye girls!” and went inside to talk with Sofia.

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A few minutes later Sofia came to us and said:

– Hey girls, dad just left and I would like to invite here some of my friends. But I would like to ask you both that you won’t tell about this to parents. Is it ok?

Elsa looked at me and I actually didn’t know what to say. I remembered last night when Elsa and I got in trouble and I really didn’t want to disappoint aunt Clara and uncle Bjorn anymore. On the other hand, I also didn’t want to disappoint Sofia because we had a very good relationship, we were friends and I could see on her face that she very much wanted to invite her friends here. I asked her:

– Do you think that your friends will be gone already before uncle Bjorn and aunt Clara will be back? I just wouldn’t like to get in trouble again because I still feel pretty bad after last night.

– Yeah, me too. – Elsa said.

– Mom is finishing her work today very late because it’s Sunday and I guess dad won’t be home before she comes. – Sofia answered. – I don’t think that they would be back early and anyway I’m in charge here today, so it’s my responsibility if something goes wrong. But well, I’m sure my friends will be gone before parents come home.

– Then I guess it’s ok. – I said slowly and looked at Elsa. She nodded her head and smiled to her sister.

Sofia looked very happy. She took out her phone and called her friends from the “Paragons” club. They all agreed to come and Sofia went to the kitchen and prepared some grilled cheese sandwiches. Elsa told me that she feels tired, so she went to her room for a short nap. I decided to try out and practice playing violin. Aunt Clara bought it for me two days ago, so I could have some hobby. I have to say that my playing sounded horrible for a first time. Luckily Sofia and Elsa were downstairs, so maybe they didn’t hear it. But hey… It was the first time in my entire life that I had a violin in my hands.

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I saw through the window that Sofia’s friends came and a few minutes after there was loud music playing downstairs. I guessed that Sofia and her friends decided to start a party, but I didn’t want to disturb them, so I played some games on my tablet. I’m not sure how long I played games then, but I noticed that it was already dark outside, so it had to be already pretty late. I was worried if everything will be like it was planned and Sofia’s friends would go home before aunt Clara and uncle Bjorn would be back. Someone knocked to my door and when I said “Please, come in!”, the door opened and Sofia came inside.

– Hey Sara, please come downstairs, I prepared something to eat!

Before I even opened my mouth she was already gone and I heard that she ran fast downstairs. I went to the living room and at the same time Elsa joined me. Sofia and her friends were dancing there and obviously they had so much fun.

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– Sara, do you think that we will be in trouble again today? – Elsa asked me. I could see that she was the same worried like me.

– Well… I don’t know… But I hope not… – I answered quietly and slowly.

Sofia and her friends sat in the dining room and ate the meal which she prepared. Elsa and I sat in the kitchen. I had to admit that Sofia prepared a very good meal.

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After we all ate I noticed that it was already half past midnight and it seemed that Sofia’s friends didn’t want to go home yet. They got an idea to go to the beach and light a fire. Sofia looked a little confused, but I guessed that she didn’t want to refuse them, so they wouldn’t laugh. Poor Sofia, she really didn’t know what to do. The girls from her club began pushing and persuading her, so she would agree and she finally agreed. I told Elsa that we should go to sleep already because tomorrow morning we had to go to school, but before we left the living room, I heard Sofia speaking to her friends:

– Let’s go then, but I have to take with me my little sisters. I’m responsible for them and can’t leave them home alone.

When I heard it, I already expected some trouble. Sofia came to us and told that we should put on our shoes and we all would go to the beach.

– But I think that I would stay home with Elsa. – I answered shyly. – Tomorrow is school and we are already quite tired.

– Please, come with me, I want them to see that I’m a very responsible person. – Sofia begged us quietly.

It seemed that we didn’t have a choice there, so we put our shoes and went outside with them. When we arrived to the beach, they lighted a fire and danced and laugh together. I stood with Elsa a bit far from them and we looked at the fire. I really liked it, watching the fire calmed me down a little.

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I felt exhausted and Elsa too. I could guess that Sofia probably too, but she didn’t want to show it to her friends. I checked in my phone what time was and it was already 4 am. I wanted to tell Elsa that we needed to go home and sleep immediately even if Sofia wanted to stay longer, but before I managed to do it, what I was worried about happened. Aunt Clara came to the beach and she looked very angry.

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She told to Sofia that she is very disappointed and after that she said to Sofia’s friends that they had to go home immediately because it was 4 am and probably their parents were very worried. I thought that they even didn’t realize that it was already that late. They had much of fun, so time had gone fast.

Elsa and I walked home worried that we are in trouble again. We heard how aunt Clara, who walked behind us with Sofia, was telling her how much she disappointed her that day. At home aunt Clara still looked angry and said:

– It’s extremely late already today, so you all need to go to sleep now… Tomorrow is school!… We will talk in the morning!

 

1.5. A new club and more trouble…

That night I didn’t sleep very well. I thought about how embarrassed I felt last evening and about that whole situation with that boy. I still felt pretty ashamed. It was very confusing to be much younger than I felt and were. But luckily there wasn’t anyone else, just me and that boy, so nobody could see my embarrassment… “Find someone your own age, little girl!” That sentence was like an echo in my head. I began to feel very confused, I guess that was a moment when I really realized that I wasn’t home anymore, I was in a different world, with different people, weird situations and in a different age… I couldn’t understand why I was taken to this place and what was exactly happening to me? All of those thoughts cumulated in my head and suddenly I began to feel very scared… I know, that feeling came to me pretty late, but I always had late reactions for any stressing situation. But I immediately tried to get rid of those thoughts in my head and began to think that there was a solution, I just needed to collect some points and I could go home. I said to myself that I just needed to follow this application in my phone and I would be able to go home. I looked at the portal, which didn’t shine anymore after I came to this world, and I kept that thought very strongly… I didn’t have any doubts… I believed it…

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Because I fell asleep so late last night, the next morning I didn’t hear the alarm which I put in my phone, and I slept longer than I should. Aunt Clara woke me up and it was already so late, I had to be in a hurry to manage to go to school on time. But I guess it was good too because I didn’t have time to think about anything else than being ready on time for school. Luckily I managed and Sofia, Elsa and I went to school together.

Time at school flew very fast today, probably because a teacher gave us many tasks to do for that day and I was mostly busy. During lunch break Elsa invited Lucas to visit us after school and he agreed to come. She really liked to spend time with him and I think they looked cute together. But Elsa told that she would like that we could spend time all together and have some fun. So, when school day was over, we all went home together. We were very happy because it was a Friday, so weekend just started.

– Let’s watch a movie! – Elsa said when we all sat in the living room.- We have a new, funny DVD.

– I heard that it’s a great movie, but I didn’t watch it yet. – Lucas said while checking the DVD cover. – It’s going to be so much fun.

Elsa put the DVD inside a DVD player and we began to watch. It was truly a very interesting and funny movie about a couple of kids who were superheroes and saved the world. We laughed often and had much of fun.

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After we finished the movie, we talked a little about it.

– The most funny moment for me was when Rufus flied over the train and all of those people, who didn’t believe in his special powers, were so shocked then. – Elsa said and giggled. – That was very funny!

– Yes, especially Rufus’ sister was extremely shocked and I believe she didn’t bully him anymore after all. I agreed with Elsa because in my opinion that was also the most funny moment of the whole movie.

– That was funny indeed, but I think I laughed more when Claudia tried to teach her little brother fly. That was also hilarious. – Lucas said.

– Oh, I forgot about that! – Elsa answered. – Oh yeah! I laughed much then too.

– Children! Grilled sausages are ready! Come to eat! – Uncle Bjorn called us from the garden.

We went outside. Sofia came too. Uncle Bjorn prepared a delicious meal in our grill. Steaks, sausages, corn and salad. It tasted really good, so we all enjoyed dinner. Lucas decided to sit on a swing while eating and we sat by the table in the garden.

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After we finished our dinner, Sofia went to practice playing piano and Elsa, Lucas and me went to my room and played a “Falling Llama” game. We had so much fun while playing and I also noticed that Elsa secretly let Lucas win.

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When the game was over, Lucas went home and we got ready to sleep because it was already pretty late. That night I fell asleep very fast, I didn’t have any time to think about anything. Just lied down in my bed and immediately fell asleep. I was very exhausted.

The next morning Elsa and I woke up earlier than others. We sat in the living room and talked. I told her that I would like to join other clubs too.

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– That’s a very good idea! Meeting new people is fun and it’s a good possibility to get new friends. – Elsa said. – Do you know already which club would you like to join?

– Well… I don’t know exactly which club is the most interesting one for me yet. I thought that I could try to join them one by one and see where I would feel the best. I was thinking that maybe today I could join the “Avant Gardes” club as first. I checked in the internet and they have a meeting today in the old town of Windenburg.

– That’s great! Do you mind if I would join this club with you? I also thought about joining a second club too.

– That would be nice if we would go together there, so I won’t be lonely there. But your parents are still sleeping and Sofia too, should we wake them up and tell that we are leaving now? We should leave now because the ferry is coming to the island after fifteen minutes.

– They had a busy week at work this week, I think we should let them sleep. I’ll write information for them on the paper that we are going to the old town to join the “Avant Gardes” club. I will leave this paper on the counter in the kitchen.

We managed to catch a ferry on time and after half an hour we were in the old town of Windenburg. We went to the cafeteria where the meeting of “Avant Gardes” club was. The members sat by the tables, drank coffee and read books or did their homework. Elsa and I went to find the leader of this group and asked her if we could join the club. Maaike Haas was the leader and she was a very nice and welcoming  person. She agreed immediately and that’s how we became members of the “Avant Gardes” club.

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Surprisingly it was a very interesting meeting. I was afraid that the club might be boring, but not. We talked much about everything. To the club belonged, in addition to us, two teenagers: Yuki Behr and Hugo Villareal and two adults: Maaike Haas, who was a leader, and Gunther Munch. Adult members of the club helped Elsa, me, Yuki and Hugo with our homework and after that we played video games together.

We had a really nice time during the club gathering and we didn’t realize that it was very late already and it began to be dark outside. Elsa told that probably her parents would like that we would be home already, so we went out. I managed still to make a few pictures of the old town. We climbed up to one of the towers to get a better view and the view was absolutely amazing.

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When we came down and went out of the tower, we noticed that a police officer walked toward us. She was a middle age woman. She said:

– What are you girls doing here alone at this time? Who are you and where are your parents?

Elsa looked at me and I looked at her and we didn’t know what to answer.

– You shouldn’t be here all alone at this time. – The police officer continued. – There should be an adult person or at least a teenager to check on you now.

I felt a little offended, I was a teenager and Elsa was perfectly safe with me, so I told:

– My younger sister is safe with me. I watch over her and we are going home now.

Elsa kicked me softly and then I realized again that I looked like a little girl. I kept forgetting about it, probably because I didn’t feel like it.

The woman giggled quietly and then smiled to me and Elsa and said:

– Of course, little lady, take care of your lovely little sister. But you are just a little girl yourself and there needs to be someone to watch over you too. What are your names?

– My name is Elsa Bjergsen and this is Sara Wolfe. We just have been to the “Avant Gardes” club gathering and now we were going back home.

– But it’s too late for you both to be alone here. Why didn’t you ask your parents to pick you up after the meeting? I know your father Elsa, I’ll call him and ask him to come and pick you up.

She took her phone and called uncle Bjorn. Elsa looked at me and said quietly:

– Now we are in trouble…

That was a very uncomfortable situation. We sat on a bench with the police officer and waited for uncle Bjorn. He came after 40 minutes and looked pretty angry. He thanked the woman and told us to come to the car. After that he didn’t say anything. The ride to home was even more uncomfortable than sitting with a police officer because of the quiet. I felt so bad. The Bjergsen family was so nice and caring for me and I disappointed them.

When we arrived home and got out of the car, uncle Bjorn just locked the car’s door and went inside without saying a word. Elsa looked at me again and I looked at her and we went inside too. We met Sofia in the hall and she said to us quietly:

– I think now you are in big trouble…

– Girls! Please, come to the living room. We have to talk with you.

Aunt Clara called us and Sofia went to her room. We went to the living room. Aunt Clara and uncle Bjorn were sitting on the sofa and looked at us.

– Girls, we can’t hide that we are very disappointed because of your behavior. – Aunt Clara said first. – How you could just leave in the morning and not tell anything to us? You were missing a whole day and we were very worried.

– I tried to call both of you many times and we looked for you everywhere in the island. – Uncle Bjorn finally said. – Why didn’t you tell anything? If you didn’t want to wake us up you could at least write an information on the paper, so we could know where are you.

– But I wrote an information. I left it on the counter in the kitchen. – Elsa answered.

– There wasn’t any paper on the counter. – said aunt Clara. – I would notice it when I prepared breakfast.

– But it has to be there, I swear that I wrote it. – Elsa said and went to the kitchen to look for that paper. Aunt Clara, uncle Bjorn and me went also to the kitchen.

I felt extremely bad, so far I didn’t say anything and it was my idea to go to the club gathering.

– I am very sorry… – I decided to say something finally, but I really meant it. – I promise, it will never happen again…

– I found it! – Elsa shouted in the same time. – It fall down under the counter. And, like Sara said, we are very sorry…

– That’s ok girls, but next time just wake us up if you want to go somewhere. – Aunt Clara said and hugged us both.

– I guess after your adventure today, you, girls, are hungry now. – Uncle Bjorn said and smiled to us. – Time to prepare the dinner.

I was relieved that they weren’t angry anymore. And again I felt pretty ashamed. Elsa and I went outside for a moment to talk. She was also very happy that her parents were in a good mood again.

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Suddenly Elsa asked me if I managed well so far with the application in my phone and I realized then that I totally forgot about it.

– I should draw a few pictures while I feel inspired but right now I don’t feel any inspiration. – I answered.

– Use a “inspired chicken” hat.

Use… what?

– What should I use?

– A “inspired chicken” hat. It’s in the wardrobe in the hall, on the second shelf, if I remember correctly. – Elsa continued. – We have here hats which help to get a good mood to work with our applications. It’s fun and also very helpful.

A hat, which is going to set my mood… I heard about many strange things here already, but that was extremely strange. I noticed also that I wasn’t as much shocked as I should be. Weird… Maybe it was because in this world every day I’ve seen something strange and shocking, so my brain got used for it already? I totally didn’t know but I decided to try it out. I found this hat and put it on my head and went to bathroom to see my mirror image. I looked like I would have a chicken on the top of my head!!!

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But I guess it worked because I suddenly felt inspiration for drawing, so I went to my room and drew a couple of pictures.

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When I finished I put information about it to this application and got new tasks to do. But at the same time Sofia came to my room and said that dinner was ready, so we went downstairs together.

When we finished eating dinner, it was already very late. Aunt Clara said that it would be nice to go to sauna before sleeping, so uncle Bjorn went to warm up the sauna. We all got ready and went there. It was so nice and relaxing. I was for the first time in sauna and I enjoyed it very much.

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When I came back to my room, I put on my pajamas and went to bed. I thought again about that day. I really needed to be be more careful in the future. I needed to keep my secret better and also I didn’t want to disappoint The Bjergsen family anymore. That was the only one time and never again… I promised that to myself and fell asleep.

1.4. Aspiration rewards, clubs and Windenburg.

Day by day I began to be used to the new situation in my life. Of course it was very weird and unusual, but every day was also easier for me. The hardest part of this situation was keeping a secret. I mean, I always kept all the secrets that people shared with me, but this was my own secret and sometimes I did something differently than other people here, then they realized it and I was so confused because I didn’t know what to say and I couldn’t say the truth. Luckily, the Bjergsen family knew. They were so good to me and helped me very much to fit in here. I had very good contact with aunt Clara and uncle Bjorn, but even better contact I had with Sofia and Elsa. Sofia was almost the same age like I was (my real age), so we talked much about music, magazines, books and… boys. Of course I liked to talk about boys and dating, I did it always with my friends… well… in my world. Sofia told me about one guy whose she really liked and she really wanted him to ask her on a date, so we tried to practice a little how she could flirt that he will ask her on a date. It was fun. Well, I didn’t have a boyfriend myself yet, but my best friend Johanna had and we shared some secrets too… Oh, I missed her very much. I often wondered what she was doing… Back to Sofia, so I had a really good contact with her, but when friends from her club visited us, I always did something else. I was sure it wouldn’t be comfortable for her if “little sister” would sit in the same room. Anyway I wasn’t even interested in trying on new clothes.

Also with Elsa I had great contact. She was obviously younger than me (we just looked the same age), but it didn’t matter, we still had so much fun together. I guess it’s because I worked, when I was home, as a babysitter every weekend to earn some money for my cosmetics and clothes and I always really loved children and spending time with them.

Two days after the party, we ate breakfast together. Aunt Clara made delicious pancakes.

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– Sara, sweetheart, we talked in the morning with uncle Bjorn and maybe we found some solution for you. – Aunt Clara said to me. – Did the girls tell you already about our aspiration points and rewards?

I was now listening very carefully. Did they find out how can I go home? What are those aspiration points?

– No, I didn’t hear about it yet. – I answered. – What are those aspiration points?

– You see, Sara, here, in our world, we are using electronics very often like phones and computers and there are thousands of different apps, which are made to show us what we need to do to achieve some success. – Uncle Bjorn answered. – Like for example, in my work place, I received from my boss an application on my phone and it’s showing me, step by step, what I need to do to get a promotion. There are also tests which I need to fill up every few weeks to check on which level are my skills so far. There are ten levels and ten tests to check all kinds of skills. All results of those tests are coming directly to my boss. Also information about what I did so far with this application is sent every day to my boss. Of course, if I want to get a promotion, I need to work good in my workplace too. For all of those things which I’m doing well in this application, I’m getting points and if I collect enough points, then I can choose some rewards which are very unusual and awesome, for example I can become younger again. There are many kinds of rewards and I even don’t know all of them. So we just talked that maybe if you would collect enough points, then maybe there is also something what could help you to go back home. But I really don’t know all the rewards and can’t promise you that there is something like that, but maybe it’s worth of trying. Would you like to see my application?

I checked his phone and this application. There was really written, step by step, what he needs to do, like for example: run for two hours. That was pretty interesting. I checked also this skill level’s tests and results and it showed for example that uncle Bjorn had his programming skill at level 3. It was not so difficult to achieve, I could make it too and if after collecting those points, I could go home, then it’s definitely worth of trying. But, of course, I didn’t want to be younger anymore…

– I think it’s a very interesting idea! I can do it! – I answered. – Do many people in your world have that kind of application to work with?

– Everyone is using applications like that. It’s making work a lot of easier. There are also applications for students. I will download for your phone a primary school student’s application, so you could work with it and collect your points. And… it’s done! Here you are! Now you can work with it. Sofia and Elsa have it too. So, now you belong to our world even more, Sara.

Uncle Bjorn smiled to me, then went to the kitchen, kissed aunt Clara and went to work. I checked my phone (I got it from uncle Bjorn and aunt Clara a few days ago) and I read that I should now draw two pictures while I felt inspired. Well… maybe it wouldn’t be as easy as I thought. But I planned to try to do it after school.

– Girls, be hurry, time to go to school!

Aunt Clara said it to us and went upstairs to practice yoga, she really liked it.

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We went to school. School day was pretty boring for me again. I managed to do everything very fast, so then I had to wait for the rest of class. But anyway almost all the time I thought about collecting these points.

After school we came back home. Sofia wasn’t in the best mood because she had a small argument with her friend Luna, so she went quickly to her room and practiced playing guitar. Elsa told that it’s always calming her down.

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Elsa and I sat next to the kitchen table and talked.

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I asked her how she managed with her application and she told me that it’s very easy. She also told me about her club which she was leading, “League of Adventures”, and about other clubs too. She asked if I would like to join her club.

– Sure! That would be fun. – I answered.

She told that they are meeting at the park, talking and playing in the playground. I thought it was pretty fun, normally in my age, it looks stupid already to go to the playground, but swings, for example, are still fun, so now actually I could use it again. I also wondered to which other clubs I could still join. There were: Avant Gardes, Garden Gnomes, Knights of the Hedge (but Elsa told me that to this club I couldn’t join because they were meeting at the Von Haunt Estate and that place was haunted, as everyone said, so her parents wouldn’t agree for that), League of Adventures (which I already belonged to), Paragons (Sofia belonged there), Partihaus, Powerhouse, Renegades, Spin Masters (for that one I was too young here), The Good Timers (for that one I was also too young) and Upper Crusts. I really didn’t know where I would like to belong to, so I decided to try out all of them and choose the most suitable for me. I wanted to start with Avant Gardes and check it out the next day.

While we talked, uncle Bjorn came home and asked how was our day at school. We answered that it was ok and then he asked if we would like to go with him to the center of Windenburg.

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That was a great idea! I was excited because I hadn’t seen the center and the old town of Windenburg yet. So, we drove there, first we had to use a ferry because the Bjergsen’s house was on the island and then we drove a little to the new part of Windenburg. It was so beautiful, really beautiful views. I made a few pictures.

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We also went to the park because Elsa wanted to meet with her club members, play with them and talk with Lucas too. I noticed one guy who was laying down on the street next to the park gate and watching clouds.

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It was very unusual and for a long time already I didn’t have a possibility to talk with a boy in my real age, so I came closer. Elsa already went to the playground and uncle Bjorn went to talk with a gardener. I smiled to that boy and sat next to him. He said:

– Hello, do you also like to watch the clouds?

– Yes, why not. It’s fun, isn’t it? – I answered and didn’t even look for a second to the sky. I smiled to that boy again and began to play a little with my hair. Didn’t even notice that his face showed that he was confused.

– What else are you interested in? – I asked him and flirty smiled to him and blinked my eyes.

It always worked with boys in my school, but this guy here, quickly got up and stand and looked at me. He was very confused.

– Find someone in your own age, little girl! – He said and went away.

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What?!!!! Oh no!!!! I totally forgot that I looked like a little girl here!!!! I felt extremely embarrassed… Why this was happening to me?!!! That was horrible and I felt so ashamed…

I went to the park to find Elsa and uncle Bjorn. He played chess with Jacques Villareal.

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And Elsa played with Lucas Munch and Max Villareal on the playground. They all looked like they had so much fun already.

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And there was also Lucas’ older brother Wolfgang. He sat on a bench and observed and talked with Elsa and Lucas. Oh… He was such a hottie!… He was very handsome, maybe I didn’t like that he used black eye shadow, but otherwise he looked so good. But I couldn’t make again a mistake like that a few minutes ago. Why I had to be a little girl here?!!! Oh well… I went to sit next to them.

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We all talked about what we liked to do and what we were interested in. Elsa had so much in common with Lucas. And she really liked him. Max was a little annoying, at least to me. Or maybe I just couldn’t concentrate on what he talked about. I listened much to what Wolfgang talked about. But this time I didn’t try to flirt… He said he very much likes to play chess and he belonged to the “Knights of the Hedge” club. I went to play some chess with him while uncle Bjorn also practiced playing chess on the other table.

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Fifteen minutes later uncle Bjorn said that it was already late, so we should go home. And we drove home.

We quickly ate dinner and did our homework for the next day. Aunt Clara came back from work soon after us and she helped Elsa and Sofia a little with their homework and checked mine.

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After that we went to our rooms and got ready to sleep. I just thought about what happened today. I saw now that I should be very careful how I behaved here. It wasn’t easy but I needed to always remember that I’m just a little girl here and try to behave like that. I couldn’t risk  that other people would know my secret.

1.3. A new classmate and a party.

That night I couldn’t fall asleep for a very long time. I was very disappointed that they didn’t find out how I could go back home. I thought about my family, my parents and my two brothers. I wondered what they were doing at that time. Probably they already called the police a long time ago and now they all looked for me everywhere… I felt really sad when I thought about it… But I also wondered if I will manage to live in this world. That actually scared me a little. Everything is new here and totally different… Finally I fell asleep…

In the morning aunt Clara came and woke me up:

– It’s time to get up, it’s your first school day.

Oh yes… I was supposed to go to school today. To the Sims school. I really didn’t know what I could expect but I cleaned up really quickly and came downstairs to eat breakfast with the rest of family. Sofia and Elsa were already there and uncle Bjorn came a few minutes later. Aunt Clara prepared french toast for breakfast. It was delicious.

– Aunt Clara and I… We were talking yesterday about this whole situation and we both think that you shouldn’t tell to anyone how you got here. – Uncle Bjorn said while cleaning his dishes after breakfast. – Your story is very weird and unusual even here. We are maybe a little more open because of my job, I’ve seen already many weird things and situations, but for the other people it’s going to be something beyond their imagination.

Ok, I understand… It’s not fun to not belong…

– We should all keep this a secret. – He continued. – Ok then… Now you all, girls, should go to school or you will be late. Mom stays home today, so she will check on our house rebuild. When you come back from school Sara, you will have your own room by then. See you later honey!

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Aunt Clara kissed his cheek and uncle Bjorn went to work. School bus came a few minutes later and we went to school. I wondered how they can rebuild the house in one morning? My older brother renovated his house and it took four months. How they could do it so fast?

School day was very easy, even boring. I knew all of these things already for a long time but I kept it secret like uncle Bjorn asked me to. I guess that even if I would try to tell it to someone, it would sound totally insane.

When the school was over we came back home and the house looked amazing. Couldn’t believe that they renovated it like that in one morning. Aunt Clara prepared already spaghetti for lunch. It was really good. So we all ate lunch together.

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– How was your first day at school Sara? – Uncle Bjorn asked me.

– It was good but lessons were a little boring for me since I already know most of it. Elsa showed me everything.

– Yeah!!! It was fun. – Elsa said.

– And how about you Sofia?- Aunt Clara asked Sofia.

– It was fun too. We had so nice time during a break with Luna. She brought a magazine and there was an interview with Justin… Oh, I love him!

Aunt Clara smiled to uncle Bjorn and asked how was his day at work.

– It was actually a very good day. I got praise from my boss for saving our mission. Of course I can’t tell you all details of the mission but they wanted to send there a very young and inexperienced new agent, so I decided to go along, just in case, and it was a good decision.

– Oh, that’s great news!!! I’m so proud of you honey. Although I’m always worried when you are going for a mission. But we have to celebrate it. Let’s make a party tomorrow!!! We could invite our friends and have some fun. They could meet Sara too.

– That’s a nice idea, let’s do it. I guess we should tell to our friends that we decided to adopt a child because we have a good enough financial situation, so that’s how Sara is with us. What do you think about it Sara?

– I think it’s a good solution. Thank you for everything!

After lunch aunt Clara began to prepare food for tomorrow’s party and we did our homework. Uncle Bjorn came to help a little with Sofia’s homework too.

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When homework was done, it was actually pretty late already. I felt tired and Elsa too. Sofia went to her room and practiced a little playing piano before sleeping. We still watched with Elsa some comedy in the TV and uncle Bjorn played something on the computer. I heard a familiar music, so I went to check what kind of game he was playing and I was totally shocked… He played The Sims!!! A Sim playing The Sims!!! Well… That was… an interesting experience to see it.

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Soon we all went to sleep.

The next day school was more interesting for me. I met a girl named Alice Metcalf. She was nice. We talked a little during a break. Elsa had to speak with a teacher then but when she came, we decided to invite Alice to the party which was planned for today’s afternoon. Elsa said that her parents surely will be fine with that, so Alice agreed to come. Elsa told me that there will be many people on the party because aunt Clara and Uncle Bjorn invited all of their club’s friends. Sofia was also supposed to invite friends from her club. Elsa also belonged to the club but she didn’t invite her friends because they are all children and the party might end late. But maybe there will come her friend Lucas because he belongs to the “Green Gnomes” club where also belongs her father and he invited everyone.

That seemed to be a lot of people. When we came back home there were already guests. Aunt Clara prepared good food. She was really a very good cook. There was a hamburger cake, some chocolate chip cookies and a blue confetti cake.

The party was crazy!!! So many people everywhere but everyone seemed to have a good time.

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Aunt Clara spent also some time in the gym upstairs with her friends from the “Powerhouse” club.

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And Sofia tried some clothes with her friends too.

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So basically everyone did what they liked best and it was a great and fun party. I met a lot of people and aunt Clara and uncle Bjorn told everyone that they adopted me. But when I thought about it, well… it wasn’t far from the truth. I talked with Alice and then we played the “Falling Llama” game.

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Elsa spent much of time with Lucas because he came and she told me that she really likes him. She dreamt that he could be her boyfriend in the future, so I didn’t disturb her today.

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But she got an idea to swim a little, so we all went to swim for a moment.

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When the party was over, we very quickly did our homework and aunt Clara cleaned up the house. Soon after that everyone went to sleep. I went to my room and thought about today. It was a really nice day. Maybe my life here wouldn’t be so difficult? The Bjergsen family was so wonderful. But then I looked at the portal which I kept next to my bed and I missed my family. I had still in my pocket their pictures which I hanged on the wall. Well… it wasn’t too bad here but I really hoped that after a while uncle Bjorn will make an improvement with this portal and I will go home. I felt very sleepy already and my eyes closed soon.

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Small house tour…

Hello everyone,

I rebuilt a little and redecorated the Bjergsen’s house. I did add Sara’s room and a sauna. I would like to show now screenshots of the house with a new look. I didn’t change very much because I thought that it wouldn’t be the Bjergsen’s house anymore but I like how it looks now. Hope You will like it too. I gave also to the family a little bit of makeover.

Well, let’s begin 🙂

Here is Sofia’s room:

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The next is Elsa’s room:

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Now we have a bathroom downstairs with a sauna:

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Here is a dining room area with a hall:

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The next is a kitchen:

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And now we have a living room:

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Here we have an outside area where is a swimming pool:

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And above it:

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The next is Clara’s and Bjorn’s bedroom:

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And there is also a bathroom upstairs:

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Here is a hall upstairs:

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And next to it is a study room and a gym:

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Finally here is Sara’s room:

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In the end I have also a picture of the whole house:

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I used some custom contents while decorating this house. I hope You will like it 😀

 

 

1.2. New family

Next day, I woke up pretty late. Before I opened my eyes, I thought about how crazy dream I had last night. Totally impossible. I smiled to myself and decided to open my eyes. I planned already in my head that maybe I will go today to the cinema with my best friend, so we could have some fun. But then I realized that… it wasn’t a dream!!! How this could happen to me? Seriously! It’s just impossible!

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I needed a moment to calm down. Let’s see, maybe I could go back home today. Everything started with this green “thing”, maybe I should try to examine it again and it would take me back to my world? Have to try. I remembered that it stayed in the garden last night, so I put on my clothes very fast and went downstairs.

Everyone was already up. Uncle Bjorn (that’s how I called him since that day) was at work, aunt Clara swam in pool, in the garden and their daughters were at school. I went to the garden and began to look for my mysterious “thing”. Couldn’t find it anywhere, so I went to the side of the pool where aunt Clara was swimming and asked:

– Good morning! Excuse me but where is this green, shining “thing” which brought me here yesterday? I thought that it stayed in the garden last night?

– Good morning, dear. – She answered. – Yes, it stayed in the garden during the night but in the morning my husband took it to work with him. He wants to carefully examine it and because of his job, he has the best equipment there. I told him of course about you, sweetheart and also to my daughters. In our family we don’t keep secrets.  Let’s hope that he will bring some answers when he comes back from work. Did you sleep well, Sara?

– Yes, I did, thank you. When Mr Bjergsen will be back from work?

– He finishes his work day at 3 pm. But he might stay longer today. We don’t know how long it can take to find some answers. But you can call him uncle Bjorn. I guess you must be hungry. There is breakfast left in the kitchen. Come with me, I will give you something to eat.

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We went to the kitchen and aunt Clara warmed up for me scrambled eggs which were left from breakfast. While I was eating she told me about her husband and daughters.

– My husband Bjorn is working for a secret agency, so it’s a secret but because you live now with us and, like I told you earlier, in our family we don’t keep secrets from each other, so I can tell you about it. He is a good person and a very good husband and father. Sometimes he can be pessimistic, but because of his job, he needs to be ready for everything. My older daughter is a really cheerful person. Her name is Sofia and she loves music. She is very talented and she writes songs and music by her own. Then there is my younger daughter, Elsa, she is very smart and she is a little genius in our family. And I’m working in the restaurant. I hope that I will be soon promoted to a Chef in our restaurant. I love to cook, that is my passion. Cooking and family are so important to me. So, maybe now, you can tell me something more about yourself. What do you like to do?

– Well, I like to draw and paint very much. I did it always in my free time. And I love to read books. I could sit steady for hours and read. Just can’t live without books.

– That’s good. So I guess you will manage well at school. You can go tomorrow. You will go to the same school with Elsa.

School… Ok, but I hoped that I will be back home today evening. I decided to not worry about it yet, I had bigger things to worry about.

– I have to go to work after 30 minutes, just need to go to take a shower first. You can stay here and watch television or listen to music, make yourself at home, my dear. Elsa and Sofia should be home soon too.

Aunt Clara went to the bathroom to take a shower and I turned on the TV. It was a News channel. It felt weird to watch News there, totally different places than I knew and totally different faces and situations. But I couldn’t watch long because a few minutes later Elsa and Sofia came back from school. Aunt Clara was still in bathroom and I felt very uncomfortable that moment. Being a stranger (actually a total stranger, like an alien from other world) for them and staying at their house made me feel very weird and shy. Yes, I felt shy then, didn’t know exactly how I should behave. But before I did anything, Elsa came to me, smiled to me and said:

– Hello, you must be Sara. It’s nice to meet you! I’m Elsa.

– It’s nice to meet you too!

– Mother told us today morning about you. It’s a very interesting story. How do you like our world?

That kind of question I didn’t expect. Actually I even didn’t think about before, so I thought fast and and honestly, it was nice here. And definitely this family was a very helpful and caring family.

– It’s nice here, I like it but I would like to go back home, to my world.

– That’s understandable. – Sofia said. – But it’s nice to meet you! Let’s see when dad comes home if he managed to examine this portal which you came here by.

Portal? So, that green, shining “thing” was a portal. I just hoped very much that uncle Bjorn would tell me soon how I can go back home. It was nice in here, but I missed already my own family and friends. I really wanted to look my age again…

Aunt Clara came out from bathroom and was ready to go to work. She smiled to us and said:

– I’m happy you met already. Maybe you all could do homework together? Girls could show you Sara what material they have now at school, so you would be prepared before your first school day tomorrow. Ok girls. I’m going to work now and dad should come home soon too. See you in the evening!

– Bye!!! – Elsa and Sofia said together.

– Bye!!! – I repeated.

02-04-16_3-52-05 PM

So aunt Clara left and we began to do homework together. It was weird, but all that material from Elsa’s school was extremely easy for me, I did everything in a few minutes. Maybe because I was much older than I looked!!! I was even able to do homework from Sofia’s school. That was funny! At least if I would stay here, I would never have trouble at school… But of course it was just some funny thought, I really wanted to go home!

02-04-16_3-56-59 PM

When homework was done Sofia went to her room and practiced playing guitar. She was really very talented. It was so much pleasure to listen to her music. I love music, so I enjoyed it pretty much.

02-02-16_1-38-20 AM

Elsa took me back to her room and we played a board game called “falling Llama”. It was so much fun. I really enjoyed this afternoon with Elsa and Sofia.

02-04-16_4-02-58 PM

A while later uncle Bjorn came back from work. He called Elsa to the living room. I waited for her. She came a few minutes later, took my hand and guided me to the living room. Uncle Bjorn sat on a chair next to the dining table and his face was very serious. Like he would be wearing a mask or something. He asked me to sit and said:

– Hello Sara, I am Bjorn Bjergsen. I think my wife talked with you in the morning and she probably told you that I took a portal to work with me today to examine it?

02-04-16_4-23-18 PM

I nodded my head. Didn’t know why but I had a bad feeling about this conversation.

– Well, I checked it with most of our equipment. – He continued.-  I even asked my colleagues to help me with it, to get other opinion and unfortunately I don’t have good news for you. I am really sorry, Sara, but this portal is way too advanced technology… Maybe we would be able to get more information and examine it better in the future but it can takes years of work… And we probably never will be able to give you back your real age either… You just need to grow up again… Unfortunately so far, we can’t help you Sara… Of course you can stay with us. We will be just a bigger family. Tomorrow while you will be at school we could rebuild the house and you will get your own room… I’m so sorry Sara…

I can’t even describe what I felt that moment. I felt that like a mixture of many feelings. I felt scared, stressed, depressed, disappointed and lonely. All in the same time. That was just horrible information for me. Would I be ever able to go back home?